From Married Mother to Independent Woman

Chantelle 17 years old:

Life plan:

Personal life:

Check list of my ideal guy:

• Good sense of humour
• Successful job – corporate type of guy
• Soft-hearted
• Slightly shy
• Slightly jealous so that I know he loves me
• Willing to share a bank account & pool our salaries for household expenses
• Speak a few times each day
• Wants to spend lots of time with me
• Must love sports – cricket and rugby
• Blue/Green eyes
• Dark hair

Married at 25

1st Child by 28

2nd Child by 31

Career:

Top of my chosen profession – Chartered Accountant

Dressing in Power Suits

Happily Ever After?

Chantelle at 32:

Personal Life:

Check list of my ideal guy:

• Good sense of humour
• Get on well with my parents & friends
• Fulfilling job, whatever makes him happy as long as he is solvent
• Strong enough personality to handle mine
• Not afraid to tell me when I am over-reacting
• A good listener & a good communicator
• Not jealous at all, I have too many guy friends to have to go through that conversation
• Someone who understands my independence and does not see it as me being untrusting or cold
• Understands the demands of my job
• Must have his own interests outside of mine and not expect to do everything together
• Flexible – Open to new ideas and plans
• Love to travel and want to explore the world as much as I do
• Mustn’t be a HUGE sports fan who insists on watching every single game, I am not willing to be a golf-widow or a sports widow
• Any colour eyes
• Any hair except ginger – sorry, I don’t mean to offend anybody, but ginger hair and my skin colour would just not go

Married: No – Marriage is not as easy as I always thought. As I watch a variety of marriages around me falling apart, I think I might’ve been 1 of those had I gotten married at 25. As you can tell me ideal man list has grown, however, it also shows how much better I know myself and what I wan tin a man and I am honest enough to understand that a relationship requires hard work, trust and communication.

I have changed so much in my 20’s and I have had the best time in my 20’s. Dating a variety of different types of men (& boys) If I had settled down, I would never have known which type of guy was my ideal guy & I would have settled for the wrong type – a soft guy whose life revolves around me. I would have eaten him up, spat him out and walked all over him. Before dinner time.

I am not an easy person, especially when I am under alot of stress. and I need someone to put me in my place occasionally. Tell me I am being full of Sh!t or tell me to calm down.

On the up side, I am a very loving & caring person when you know that side of me.

I am passionate, feisty and a fast thinker. I can’t think that a person would ever be bored with me.

I like to plan ahead, but I also love spontaneity from someone, where I don’t always have to be the planner.

Children: No – The jury is still out on this one, I am not sure if I do want children. Everybody tells me that when the right person comes along I will change my mind, but I am just not sure about that. I know myself well enough to know that I am too selfish with my time. I am also too impatient. Children are hard work. Do I want that? I don’t think so.

Career:

Top of my new chosen profession – Marketing & Design (Accountant – way too boring for me)

Dressing in anything BUT power suits (I hate power-suits)

Moral of the Story:

• Never plan your life at 17 – you have no idea who or what you will become and how your ideals and goals can change.
• Life is a journey, enjoy the ride and do what makes you happy.
• Life is too short to do what everyone else expects from you.
• Never stop chasing your Happily Ever After

Cocktails, Men & Fun

My year ended and began with:

• A marriage proposal
• An adultery proposal
• A sex proposal

3 different men. None of them Kevin.

How’s that for surreal?

I have never been a fan of New Years Eve parties, but 2010 was a fun ending for me.

I spent the morning with Soulla, we made some breakfast and had a lazy morning chatting.

 

I went home and being alone my thoughts naturally drifted again to Kevin. 

I was feeling quite maudlin until I arrived at Johan’s house to spend the evening with him and Liez. Johan made us pizza dough (from scratch) and we made up our custom pizzas which we cooked in the Weber.



Some delicious Alto Rouge accompanied our pizza feast. We played Scene It ( a movie quiz) on X Box and had a blast.

I got to bed at 2:30 and I had a twinge of sadness, but overall, I was happy that I got to see in the new year with some good friends.

My first day of 2011 ended with a lovely evening spent with my parents. We had some dinner and really good laughs and I find myself appreciating these special moments with my parents more and more.

 

It was only the 3 of us – once I get married it won’t just be the 3 of us – and as much as I long for the day I can finally have my husband share these special times with my folks & me – I am glad I have these memories.

Why am I still feeling sadness?

My confidence has taken a bit of a knock.

No girl wants to admit that a guy who was totally crazy about her, gradually decided that he didn’t want her anymore.

I keep wondering what I could have done differently, should I have said this or that… the usual.

Yes it is probably best we ended it (there really wasnt a chance of a future because of our age difference) – but it still doesnt make the sting of rejection any easier. It is still really difficult for me to come to terms with the fact that someone decided I wasn’t enough for them.

I am looking forward to moving on – I suppose it is the natural process of healing…. and I look forward to getting through a whole day without constantly thinking about him and missing him.

At my age – You dont spend 9 months of your life with someone not to be hurt when it doesnt work out.

Bring on 2011:

There are cocktails to be drank, men to be met and fun to be had!!

*In case you are wondering: I turned all 3 proposals down!