You & I – Ballad

There are songs we like & there are songs we love.

Then there are songs that touch your core.

You listen to the words and they take your breathe away. They evoke a multitude of emotions that wash over you and soothe your soul.

This song makes me want to cry, but smile through the tears.

Tell me it isn’t a beautiful song?

You & I – Audio

“You & I”

I figured it out.
I figured it out from black and white.
Seconds and hours.
Maybe they had to take some time.I know how it goes.
I know how it goes from wrong and right.
Silence and sound.
Did they ever hold each other tight
Like us?
Did they ever fight
Like us?You and I.
We don’t wanna be like them.
We can make it ’til the end.
Nothing can come between
You and I.
Not even the Gods above
Can separate the two of us.
No, nothing can come between
You and I.Oh, you and I.I figured it out.
Saw the mistakes of up and down.
Meet in the middle.
There’s always room for common ground.I see what it’s like.
I see what it’s like for day and night.
Never together
‘Cause they see things in a different light
Like us.
But they never tried
Like us.You and I.
We don’t wanna be like them.
We can make it ’til the end.
Nothing can come between
You and I.
Not even the Gods above
Can separate the two of us.

‘Cause you and I…

We don’t wanna be like them.
We can make it ’til the end.
Nothing can come between
You and I.
Not even the Gods above
Can separate the two of us.
No, nothing can come between
You and I.

You and I.
Oh, you and I.
Oh, you and I.
We can make it if we try.
You and I
Oh, you and I.

8 Things Every Happy Woman Should Have

I haven’t felt much like blogging this week, so I thought I better add something happy after my sad post on Monday.

Stole this from Thought Catalog

1. A go-to drink
Cosmopolitan with extra cherries
Non Alcoholic: Passion Fruit & Lemonade

2. A go-to Karaoke song
I cannot sing, so I prefer not to subject people to this torture.

If I had to choose…. What Makes you Beautiful by 1D. The note is low and the tune is so catchy people might not notice my terrible singing

3. A uniform
Difficult – I change my wardrobe according to my moods – which change all the time!!

Probably jeans and a tank top/strappy top layered over a strappy top and flip flops or my sneakers.

4. A hair-stylist you love
My Mom. Nobody else

5. An Exercise Routine
In the distant past – gym 5 times a week. Now… nothing

6. A hobby
Photography, Blogging and Reading

7. A best friend
I have a best friend. She can talk the hind-leg off a donkey and sometimes I need her endless chatter to distract me. Other times I just need to be left alone to deal with my problems my way

8. A healthy sense of self 
I am very comfortable with who I am as a person. I am happy with what I have accomplished in my career and in my personal life.

I think I could work on my self-confidence a bit, but I do not hate myself or do silly things because of an out-of-perspective self-image.

Join in and let me know!

 

Devastated

It is with a heavy heart and tears streaming down my face that I write this post. It has taken me over a week to try to form the words, but I just don’t know how to articulate everything in my heart. I have cried every day and the tears are not finished yet.

Last week Saturday – 12 October – my friend Glen Dell crashed at an air show in Secunda and died later that day.

 

Words cannot explain my heartbreak.

I first met Glen in 2005 and thought he was so sexy (for an older man)

His striking blue eyes were kind and wicked all at the same time.

But it was his kindness, his gentle nature and his humility that made him so extremely special.

We bonded over our love of animals and red wine. Glen took me for my first plane ride in June as a birthday present and I was lucky enough to be treated to another ride a few years later.

We sat over dinners and lunches and discussed marriage and children. Glen made me feel comfortable with my decision not to get married in my 20’s like everybody around me.

He made me feel sexy, he respected my opinion enough to ask advice on important things and he helped me to realise the strength within myself.

He changed my life. He helped me enjoy the adventurous side of myself. He helped me realise my self-worth.

I remember the day he amazed me & surprised my friends who were flying to PE and he happened to be the captain of that flight. He called them both to the cockpit!

Another time he flew directly over my house in Centurion to cheer me up – even though he was not even supposed to be in that air-space!

He made a friend of mine’s dream come true by taking him up in the air and teaching him some aerobatic moves because it was important to me.

This man was exceptionally kind and giving. If you read his Facebook wall, the messages streaming in show you the calibre of person he was. He was only 51.

I was going to get married under the gazebo at his house in his backyard.

What bothers me even more: I could not stop thinking about him on Friday. Glen kept popping into my thoughts. I thought, “I’ll message him when I am in Mauritius and catch up”

He died the day I landed in Mauritius and I never got to speak to him again.

You’d think after what happened with John Sinclair in 2006 (kept thinking about him and he died the next day) that I would have learnt my lesson!

Emergency services took 8 minutes to get him out of his burning plane after dawdling around and being so ill-prepared that he was only removed from the wreckage 20 minutes later.

He died not from any broken bones, but from the extent of his burns.

What a senseless way to die! If he had died from injuries relating to the actual crash I would have understood, but when the people we rely on to save our life are the indirect cause – it makes me sick.

RIP Glen – I cannot tell you how much I will miss you.

Dark Sides

Oh oh oh, there’s a place that I know
It’s not pretty there and few have ever gone
If I show it to you now
Will it make you run away?

Or will you stay
Even if it hurts
Even if I try to push you out
Will you return?
And remind me who I really am
Please remind me who I really am

 

Sometimes I feel like an imposter.

I talk to people, I smile at them and I laugh at their jokes. All from behind a veil.

The “other me” whispers in my ear, not unkindly, that they don’t understand me. They think they know who I am, but in reality they are seeing the side of me that they expect to see.

Personality Test – INFJ

I saw this link in the Blogtember challenge and although I am not taking part in the challenge, I loved this personality test.

While reading the results I was vigorously nodding my head and having a few lightbulb moments.

I have always wished I had followed the Psychology path, but at the time I matriculated (graduated) every 2nd person was “Studying psychology” it was the buzz word of that year. Which is exactly why I automatically write the idea off.

Some interesting (and very true) results:

  • I am actually an introvert, but people may think I am an extrovert because I appear to be outgoing.

“….will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible”

  • Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma
  • Also I am a “doer” as well as a dreamers – another aspect of the dual sided Gemini!

Take the test HERE and if you want to really see what I am all about – you can read the results below, but I think unless you know me, this will all be gibberish to you!

INFJ
Introvert(11%)  iNtuitive(12%)  Feeling(38%)  Judging(22%)

You have slight preference of Introversion over Extraversion (11%)
You have slight preference of Intuition over Sensing (12%)
You have moderate preference of Feeling over Thinking (38%)
You have slight preference of Judging over Perceiving (22%)

Beneath the quiet exterior, INFJs hold deep convictions about the weightier matters of life. Those who are activists — INFJs gravitate toward such a role — are there for the cause, not for personal glory or political power.

INFJs are champions of the oppressed and downtrodden. They often are found in the wake of an emergency, rescuing those who are in acute distress. INFJs may fantasize about getting revenge on those who victimize the defenseless. The concept of ‘poetic justice’ is appealing to the INFJ.

“There’s something rotten in Denmark.” Accurately suspicious about others’ motives, INFJs are not easily led. These are the people that you can rarely fool any of the time. Though affable and sympathetic to most, INFJs are selective about their friends. Such a friendship is a symbiotic bond that transcends mere words.

INFJs have a knack for fluency in language and facility in communication. In addition, nonverbal sensitivity enables the INFJ to know and be known by others intimately.

Writing, counseling, public service and even politics are areas where INFJs frequently find their niche.

Functional Analysis:
Introverted iNtuition

Introverted intuitives, INFJs enjoy a greater clarity of perception of inner, unconscious processes than all but their INTJ cousins. Just as SP types commune with the object and “live in the here and now” of the physical world, INFJs readily grasp the hidden psychological stimuli behind the more observable dynamics of behavior and affect. Their amazing ability to deduce the inner workings of the mind, will and emotions of others gives INFJs their reputation as prophets and seers. Unlike the confining, routinizing nature of introverted sensing, introverted intuition frees this type to act insightfully and spontaneously as unique solutions arise on an event by event basis.

Extraverted FeelingExtraverted feeling, the auxiliary deciding function, expresses a range of emotion and opinions of, for and about people. INFJs, like many other FJ types, find themselves caught between the desire to express their wealth of feelings and moral conclusions about the actions and attitudes of others, and the awareness of the consequences of unbridled candor. Some vent the attending emotions in private, to trusted allies. Such confidants are chosen with care, for INFJs are well aware of the treachery that can reside in the hearts of mortals. This particular combination of introverted intuition and extraverted feeling provides INFJs with the raw material from which perceptive counselors are shaped.

Introverted ThinkingThe INFJ’s thinking is introverted, turned toward the subject. Perhaps it is when the INFJ’s thinking function is operative that he is most aloof. A comrade might surmise that such detachment signals a disillusionment, that she has also been found lacking by the sardonic eye of this one who plumbs the depths of the human spirit. Experience suggests that such distancing is merely an indication that the seer is hard at work and focusing energy into this less efficient tertiary function.

Extraverted SensingINFJs are twice blessed with clarity of vision, both internal and external. Just as they possess inner vision which is drawn to the forms of the unconscious, they also have external sensing perception which readily takes hold of worldly objects. Sensing, however, is the weakest of the INFJ’s arsenal and the most vulnerable. INFJs, like their fellow intuitives, may be so absorbed in intuitive perceiving that they become oblivious to physical reality. The INFJ under stress may fall prey to various forms of immediate gratification. Awareness of extraverted sensing is probably the source of the “SP wannabe” side of INFJs. Many yearn to live spontaneously; it’s not uncommon for INFJ actors to take on an SP (often ESTP) role.

Famous INFJs:Nathan, prophet of Israel
Aristophanes
Chaucer
Goethe
Robert Burns, Scottish poet

U.S. Presidents:
Martin Van Buren
James Earl “Jimmy” CarterNathaniel Hawthorne
Fanny Crosby, (blind) hymnist
Mother Teresa of Calcutta
Fred McMurray (My Three Sons)
Shirley Temple Black, child actor, ambassador
Martin Luther King, Jr., civil rights leader, martyr
James Reston, newspaper reporter
Shirley MacLaine (Sweet Charity, …)
Piers Anthony, author (“Xanth” series)
Michael Landon (Little House on the Prairie)
Tom Selleck
John Katz, critic, author
Paul Stookey (Peter, Paul and Mary)
U. S. Senator Carol Moseley-Braun (D-IL)
Billy Crystal
Garry Trudeau (Doonesbury)
Nelson Mandela
Mel Gibson
Carrie Fisher
Nicole Kidman
Jerry Seinfeld
Jamie Foxx
Sela Ward
Mark Harmon
Gary Dourdan
Marg Helgaberger
Evangeline Lilly
Tori May
Introverted iNtuiting Feeling Judging
by Marina Margaret Heiss

INFJs are distinguished by both their complexity of character and the unusual range and depth of their talents. Strongly humanitarian in outlook, INFJs tend to be idealists, and because of their J preference for closure and completion, they are generally “doers” as well as dreamers. This rare combination of vision and practicality often results in INFJs taking a disproportionate amount of responsibility in the various causes to which so many of them seem to be drawn.

INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people — a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious “soul mates.” While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent “givers.” As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood — particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.

Due in part to the unique perspective produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil. The most important contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened in the INFJ type (possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function).

This empathy can serve as a classic example of the two-edged nature of certain INFJ talents, as it can be strong enough to cause discomfort or pain in negative or stressful situations. More explicit inner conflicts are also not uncommon in INFJs; it is possible to speculate that the causes for some of these may lie in the specific combinations of preferences which define this complex type. For instance, there can sometimes be a “tug-of-war” between NF vision and idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings.

Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally well-suited to the “inspirational” professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership. Psychology and counseling are other obvious choices, but overall, INFJs can be exceptionally difficult to pigeonhole by their career paths. Perhaps the best example of this occurs in the technical fields. Many INFJs perceive themselves at a disadvantage when dealing with the mystique and formality of “hard logic”, and in academic terms this may cause a tendency to gravitate towards the liberal arts rather than the sciences. However, the significant minority of INFJs who do pursue studies and careers in the latter areas tend to be as successful as their T counterparts, as it is *iNtuition* — the dominant function for the INFJ type — which governs the ability to understand abstract theory and implement it creatively.

In their own way, INFJs are just as much “systems builders” as are INTJs; the difference lies in that most INFJ “systems” are founded on human beings and human values, rather than information and technology. Their systems may for these reasons be conceptually “blurrier” than analogous NT ones, harder to measure in strict numerical terms, and easier to take for granted — yet it is these same underlying reasons which make the resulting contributions to society so vital and profound.

Having Children

A topic I have given a lot of thought to recently. Especially after my nephew was born 2 years ago.

I have been waiting for my broodiness to settle in and I am surprised to discover that it hasn’t.

Growing up, society has conditioned us to believe that our purpose in life is to become successful in a chosen career and to get married and have children.

There is not much said about having a job that you love regardless of the lack of status and about getting married and having children.

My friend’s mother is constantly on at her about the 2 of us finding a husband and settling down. We tell her that we are going on holiday and her response is: “That sounds lovely, but you should be out there looking for a man”

I would love to get married to the person who I feel is right for me, I will never settle in order to avoid being a spinster.

Since my nephew was born, I have realised 2 things:

1. I don’t have to feel guilty for depriving my parents of being grandparents. They are amazing with Noah and I love watching how my mom especially has changed in her strictness between being a parent and a grandparent.
2. I have a child in my life. I enjoy being the awesome aunt who gets to blow bubbles with him and tickle him to death and kick the ball outside with him. I will always be in his life as he grows up.

I am also not totally ruling out the possibility of perhaps changing my mind about having children. I have however decided that should I want children, they must come naturally.

I have watched 1 too many times the stress that fertility treatment adds to a relationship – regardless of how strong that relationship is – and I will not subject myself to that.

IVF and AI do not deliver 100% results and the added stress is detrimental to all the treatments. I believe that everything happens for a reason and this is 1 of those situations where I believe that it will work out the way it should.

And heaven forbid I become 1 of those people who bitch and moan about being pregnant, tired and fat, but post a photo online smiling widely every second day and then after the baby is born complain that I miss my “pregnancy glow”

You have my permission to show me this blog post and then bitch slap me.

And I promise never to whip it out in your presence and breastfeed the baby. EVER.

I went on a date…

… and then 2 more.

I tried my hand at Internet Dating as I have had some successes in the past and I am running out of ideas on how to meet new people.

Began chatting to a handful of guys who seemed normal enough. Before meeting 1 in person I chatted to a few on email:

P: A gym instructor. A bit shy, but quite cute. Slightly difficult to have long conversations due to his shyness, but killer smile. (And I am sure he has a nice body – bonus)

G: Very intelligent guy, less shy, but more of the strange. Has cockroaches in his cupboard, to feed his snake.. who roams free around his house. And he keeps spiders.

Mmmh I don’t think I got past the snake who gets to roam free….

M: Ticks almost every box on my childhood list and my adult list of  “Ideal traits in my future mate list”

When I was younger, my list went as follows:

  1.  Dark hair
  2. Blue eyes
  3. Pointy edged canine teeth (Perhaps an early indication of my attraction to vampires?)
  4. Loves animals
  5. Likes to laugh

My list now that I am older:

  1. British accent
  2. Younger than I am
  3. Intelligent
  4. Loves animals
  5. Has a job
  6. Does not live with his parents
  7. Financially stable
  8. Loves to travel
  9. Likes to laugh
  10. Preferably has hair (not on his chest)
  11. Someone who makes decisions and makes things happen.

The initial emails went very well and progressed to Whatsapp conversations. He talks as much as I do and is not afraid to answer a question honestly.

Date 1:

He invited me to a steak restaurant. Spoke to whole night about a whole range of topics. Turns out that we were both born in Rhodesia and our dads were both in the war.

His dad immigrated to the UK where M later went to Oxford. (British Accent!)

Date 2:

I take him to my favourite Italian place. Everybody needs to experience this perfect little gastronomic piece of heaven at least once in their lives.

I pay for dinner because

  • it was his birthday the week before
  • because I had invited him
  • because he paid for the previous dinner

I am not a lady who expects the man to pay for everything, We both work for a living which means we can both afford to pay for dinner.

Things go rather well and he is already asking me to go away with him for a weekend. So I say yes and here begins one of his first tests: Can he make plans and stick to them (a pet hate is when people are always talking about doing something, but sit back and expect others to make the arrangements.)

Date 3:

He cancels an invite to my place for dinner because he has the flu. (warning sign 1: Since I’ve met him, he has been ill 3 times)

Date 3: Rain Check, dinner and a movie

He cancels because the movie would run too late and it’s a “school night”. (Warning sign 2: not thinking out the box and changing plans to an early dinner only & why suggest a movie in the 1st place then?)

Date 4: 

Meets me at the movies for our dinner and movies. I buy the movie tickets.

Despite me having hurt my back and asking him to walk slowly, he rushes me to walk faster and chooses a restaurant on the other side.

I order a small pizza and 1 glass of wine.

He orders a Large pizza and drinks 2 large draughts.

Bill arrives, he says: “We can split the bill in half”

Needless to say, this is the last time I will be seeing him.

He has proven just how important it is to get to know a person before making any big plans.

No more mention was ever made again about the weekend away (Test Failed)

Back to the Drawing Board….

Goodbye Missy Pie…

She’s done it.

She got her 3 year working visa in the UK.

She’s gone.

My next-door-neighbour colleague.

My Cake Partner

My Hot Men Fellow Perve.

Who am I going to tease and give a fright to in the morning?

Farewell Parma Ham, Rocket and Mozarella Croissant
Farewell Parma Ham, Rocket and Mozzarella Croissant
Tea Lovers
Tea Lovers
Hot Men Perverts
Hot Men Perverts
Dangerous Driver & the 2 crazies
Dangerous Driver & the 2 crazies
SMILE (But keep an eye on the road)
SMILE (But keep an eye on the road)

Enjoy the UK Missy Pie, I will miss our daily chats and laughs – and enjoy the picture waiting for you on the wall of your office when you get there. (Insert one of your own evil laughs here – you know the one I mean)

Follow her blog here, as I am sure she will be keeping us up to date with all her upcoming adventures!

Capture

The Ex & I at Builders Warehouse

BD …

My 1st love

My 1st heartbreak

My 1st Europe travel companion

My 1st snow lady building companion

He was the guy who …

Taught me what sex was actually all about.

Was with me when I found out my Gran had passed away

Got his 2 girlfriends together to break the news to each other about each other (It’s a funny story now)

Taught me more about myself than anybody has ever taught me

Is the artist of these drawings

20130519_112544

 

We speak on holidays and special occasions. It’s been around 3 years since I actually saw him.

We made plans to go to Builders Warehouse to look for mounting frames for our venetian masks.

He looks exactly the same, except for some extra grey hair. Wow! He has always been irresistible to me from the moment I met him, and now with the new grey hair interspersed with his dark hair – Super Sexy!

He hasn’t changed much, his personality is still the same. I however, have changed.

Over the years I have become less tolerant and less patient with people. I see it in my everyday life.

Spending a few hours with him… I realise how I always used to soothe him and play along so as not to make him angry.

I am not like that any more, now I find myself losing patience and not wanting to keep my mouth shut any longer.

Good thing we are not together, we wouldn’t have lasted!

It was really nice to see him again. I should have invited him back to my place for some more “catching up”. Clearly I am losing my recklessness courage.

Noah in Parys

He is becoming such a big boy and I am loving being an aunt more than I ever imagined.

I still don’t have those motherly urges, but at least I am not a cold hearted aunty.

I went to my parents side of the world for a birthday celebration the weekend after my birthday. As has become a yearly tradition, we go to Parys.

For some reason I took no photos except of my adorable nephew. He was 2 in February and he knows how to use a Samsung Galaxy S3 almost better than I do. He can count to ten and can recite most of the alphabet.

His nature is sunny and sweet and he laughs alot. He also loves it when I tickle him to death (yes he does) and blow “farts” into his tummy and bubbles into his face!

When you ask him for love he launches himself at you to give you a hug. What a darling!

Loving the camera
Loving the camera